Update on my dad

Yeah! This Friday we are leaving for London - the first time when we planned this last year in September 2011, we got news that dad was diagnosed with 4th stage cancer in the colon, which spread to his liver. So we cancelled our London trip and went back Malaysia instead. Fast forward today 11 months after, my sister messaged me that dad has jaundice, his legs swelled and stomach bloated and had to be medicated. So, not that yeah anymore. This came shortly after a few days ago when I was reflecting on Sunday's message by Maicon about what if we had to give up something so precious for our faith? Instead of Abraham asked to sacrifice his son, I feel like I have to let go of my dad. Of course this is a very bad example but I do wonder if there is a lesson to be learnt here? I came home after work, shared a bit about my situation to my wife, Kara, and Audrey and Erik who was visiting us and went to my room to rest and reflect - but more of my coping mechanism kicked in, where I just want to think of nothing and hope everything will be alright after my sleep. I got back up 5 mins after, telling myself not to mop or ignore the situation, instead be strong , speak against the cancer, renewed my faith and believe that a miracle is near. Screw the thoughts of death. Screw the image of my dad suffering! We hold on to the promise and power of healing through the blood of Jesus. There is no plan B. It's always hard to explain about my dad's situation. Medically, the report is not getting any more positive, and when I ask about dad about how he is feeling, his answer doesn't gives me much indication that it's getting better instead currently it's obvious that things are getting worse. Despite that I refuse to believe that he's losing the battle, and that things will get better from now on, or soon to be - am I in denial? Maybe many will think I am, that I'm just fooling myself. But my hope, his hope, and my family's hope is in the Lord. So is our faith. Did we or he made the right decision not to go for the treatment suggested by the oncologist? I suppose when we believe in God's healing, it's not so much of which treatment to go for, but that healing comes from the Lord regardless of the treatment method. Still think I'm talking like a brainwashed Christian? And where did the logical and rational thinking that I employ each day in my job went to? I suppose I cannot explain faith. Even if things don't turn out the way we expect it to, my faith will still be in the Lord. They say that life has its ups and down, and I suppose being a Christian doesn't smooth out the downs in our life. The consolation is that we can find comfort in the Lord, and we don't have to fight the battles alone. Why do bad things happen to good people or vice versa? I honestly don't know. How should I end this post? Kara had difficulty breathing because of flu lately, which made breast-feeding her a challenge. It breaks my heart to see her in such a difficult situation, but I also realized the hard work that care givers put in to take care of people with special attention. My salute and hats off goes to those who work in such situation. Also I'm reminded that taking care and being there for my family is more important than my work and career. Even if my career or income maybe impacted, but God never leaves us in a lurch - that I am sure.

Back to Oslo from Stockholm

24.02.12 Guess what baby Kara? We're on the train again but its back to Oslo and you've just been fed.  Mom says your eyes look cute now, probably because you got that drunken look after feeding - but we didn't spike your milk. Well I think you have that peaceful and contented look, and shuffling back and forth between wanting to rest and also wanting to know what is happening around you. Everytime you open your eyes I felt scared, not knowing if you will cry or do next, but a pat from mom and you immediately went back to sleep. Half an hour ago it was full of tension. The train wasn't here yet but the platform was full of people, and full of baby prams, buggy, wheelchair and oversize luggage. We went into the wrong carriage and it was jam packed with people and stuff and I had to chuck your baby carriage at the train steps just to let people through since it was quite sizable, and also trying to find our seats. In the end, we found out we were in the wrong carriage and quickly moved to the correct one where it was much peaceful and had more places to place your carriage. Lesson learnt, don't assume and rush into things, take a little longer to confirm things and it will save you much hassle. Earlier this morning we went to the Malaysian embassy in Stockholm to apply for your citizenship papers and passport which went very smoothly. The highlight of it was when we had to fingerprint you, and it was so tiny compared to daddy's. You were pretty calm when putting it down for the passport form, but you were crying the whole time when it was time for the citizenship paper. We met a very nice lady called Joyce who processed your applications, and then met another Malaysian lady who came from Oslo and is married to a Norwegian. It's a very different world in Europe and Malaysia in terms of marriage and having kids. In Europe, as a woman you get married and take your husband name, and you can change it with ease to reflect that but in Malaysia it would be a hassle. Or God forbid, for a woman who give birth to a child without being married, can register the birth of the child in Europe but not so easily in Malaysia, but mom says its a good thing so that we don't encourage pre-marital sex and single parents. All in all we spent 2 days in Sweden, but mostly on the train and in the hotel. I would like very much to take you and mommy out to see the sights but it's rather windy and you're either hungry and need feeding, or crying and making us worried. But anyway you didn't miss much. Stockholm is a mixed bag of semi-old and metropolitan in the city center, and pretty old in Gamlestan but somewhat scarred by commercialization. Everything looks so dispersed and faded, but compared to Oslo, it is very crowded, especially on the train and metro station. I guess that is why when I went to the supermarket, there is much more choices on the shelves, or many types of restaurant and cuisines, because the market here is large enough to create a demand and sustain it. Daddy got so much more to share, but then i don't think I qualify to comment after spending 24 hours in Stockholm and you're much too young to appreciate it. But one geeky thing that your telco engineer daddy didn't get to do was to go to Kista and pose in front of  the Ericsson, Sony Ericsson and Nokia buildings, but at least I came back in time to see you poop all over your pants and fed us so we could get onto the train in time.

To Stockholm to get Kara's first passport and registered as Malaysian

23.02.12 Baby Kara, as we are writing this, we are now on the train heading to Stockholm to apply for your Malaysian citizenship papers and passport. Our train journey has past 2.5 hours and you are such an angel, sleeping it through the views of pine trees, iced lakes and some snowy and some partially melted fields. Just to take the 7.25am train, we had to wake up at 5am but yet we almost didn't make the train. It was a mad rush but we managed to get you dressed up warm and cosy, packed our breakfast with pølse med lompa, and changed some Swedish crowns.  This is our first overseas trip together and with public transport lugging along our luggage in your pram - which is quite an experience considering we've always been used to travelling with car back home in Malaysia, and now with you just only a few days over 1 month old. Last night while we were packing, we also got a bit confused what to bring for you. Aslo, Thank God Scandinavian countries are baby-friendly country, your pram even have its own parking space on the train! Gosh! I think this is an achievement for us. But let's hope everything goes well and smooth the next 2 days and so many people is constantly praying for it. You know, you're really blessed in a way that so many people have been praying for us, and especially for you, while you were in the womb and now that you're out. So indeed your life is really a testament of all our prayers, and living up to your name that you are a gift of blessings to us, and that the gift of blessings is upon you as well.

Kara is 1 month old

18-19.02.2012 This weekend was especially special for you because you've turned 1 month old. Time really does fly when we are with you. So what do we think of having you so far - its been a great experience because you've been giving us such wonderful time with your every gestures, every smiles and even your cry sounds great to us. To celebrate, we invited some of our OIC friends over for waffles and scones on Saturday evening, and you were such adorable and in your best behavior - earning lots of oohs and aahs. On Sunday, we brought you to church. So remember the first church you went to is Oslo International Church held in Gamlebyen Church. Since it was your full moon event, we commemorated it with giving out the traditional red eggs with a twist - instead of dying it with red food dye, we wrapped a simple red ribbon around it. Many of the church members were pleasantly surprised and we had the chance to explain our Chinese tradition.  Speaking of red-eggs, your grandmom specially requested that we make it and distribute it in church and have you blessed by the pastor, but since Maicon is not around we'll do it some other day. She also receieved the photo we submitted online to be developed in Malaysia and courier to Kajang and was so so so very happy to see you clearly in pictures. She was so proud of you that she showed the pictures to our neighbor the Tan family and my second aunt. You got such good reviews about your eyes, being so big and attentive making you a look like a great leader ahead, to you sweet and cute disposition.

Kara - 3 weeks after

12-14.02.2012 You were very fidgety for the few days this week and had a hard time sleeping and was crying more than usual, up to the point daddy and mommy had to carry you the whole night. There was one night when daddy just slept on the sofa carrying you in his arms and then went to work after waking up, while mommy didn't manage to eat anything the whole day despite having cooked lunch. That few days, you went from this peaceful little baby we knew from the past 3 weeks to a complete change. We have to admit it was pretty stressful for us and that we weren't sure if we still have the energy or you'll be calm enough for us to hold a full moon party for you. I guess we learnt a lot that week, about the need to burp you, how to best burp you and some gas release technique - and you were back to normal by Thursday. During that time, we also realized how much we love you, for every cry to us and seeing you being uncomfortable breaks our heart, and despite your cries, it's doesn't frustrate us, but it made us appreciate the fact you are healthy and realize how much you depend on us, and how great is our responsibility. PS: We did manage to have a full-moon party for you in the end.

Kara's first 2 week

23.01 - 03.02 Your grandparents came to visit you, arriving on the first day of CNY. You and mommy were still in the maternity hotel so daddy went to bring them back. The timing was great because you were checked by the paedetrician for heart murmur and were cleared to go back the same day after spending 5 days 4 nights there. We were afraid you would inherit mommy's problem so we prayed much against it to break any generational curse, and after the ultrasound the doctor says the it's normal because your heart and blood vessels are still developing so it's common to hear some sounds during check-ups. We didn't celebrate CNY in a special way but spent the 2 weeks just being together as a family, having Chinese food all the time, and managed to slot in some CNY cookies, nian-gao and kerepok ikan. Oh yeah you also got your first ang-pow as well! Grandpa and grandma were so happy to be with you and see you and missed you so much when they were supposed to leave for Malaysia, so we took lots of pictures of them with you. Unfortunately the bad weather in Amsterdam closed the airport and they had to take an excruciatingly long journey back to Malaysia. Had we knew earlier, we could have made alternative arrangements that would have allowed them to stay with you longer rather that waste their time at the airports.

Anxious

Hi baby K! Mommy started having serious contractions around 7pm last night. It went on till midnight and we decided it was best to let the midwife take a look at you both since there was also a bit of blood. So off we went in the middle of the night and arrived at the hospital around 12.30am. The midwife did some tests, and both of you are in good health, but mommy only dilated 2cm and were sent back, reaching home at 2.30am. It started to snow a bit as we walked up our apartment and somehow I got a feeling that the day the snow comes again, it will be the day you'll arrive.

I had a preview of how your coming will change our life when I had to wake up every 2 hours to check on mommy, or rather she woke me up to check on her and you. She couldn't sleep very well because the contraction was intensifying. In the morning, the mucus plug protecting you from the outside world came off and up to now, mommy would have had 20 hours of contraction and the amniotic sac surrounding you has yet to break. But we called the hospital and midwife who called us to come to the hospital to get you both checked again. And looking outside, it's snowing pretty heavily, so if you do come today, we want you to know you were born on a snowy Wednesday in January in Oslo.

We realize that though we prayed a lot for both of you, focusing on speedy delivery, but forgot to include in quick labor, lol. So that is something we will remember to pray for the next time. Would love to share a bit more about today, but mommy is in great pain at the moment, so do remember what mommy had to go through to bring you to this world. And now, we'll be going to the hospital, and we hope we don't have to wait too long to see you baby Karalynn!

Life is a faith journey

That was the revelation I had when we met with another oh-no in our life. This morning I discovered that the Malaysian consulate office in Oslo was closed down last week and all communications will have to be done with the embassy in Stockholm. This could mean extra work to apply for Karalynn's birth registration and passport while the embassy sort out another party to replace the honorary consular here.

So Janet and I were like "here we go again" but not so much of a complaining tone. Last year has taught us that faith as small as a mustard seed moves mountains, and it looks like this year's journey of faith has begun.

Finishing touches, and all that awaits

Hello baby Kara, we've just had you checked by the doctor today who gave you and mommy a clean bill of health. It's exactly one week more before your due date and we're getting more and more excited by your arrival. Tonight, we've dressed up your crib, which was the last item on our preparation - so all that awaits, is YOU.

The story of baby K

Baby K, your story is all about the journey of faith for us, your parents.

You see, we were married in 2007 but for some strange reasons we didn't decide to have kids straight away. Well, we wanted to have kids like you, just that we weren't so serious about it until your mom hit the big 3-0, and realized that her biological clock was ticking away, so we intensified our efforts. Now we will tell you what this means when you are old enough to grasp the concept. After months of trying without success, we thought it could be due to the stressful nature of your mom's job so she quit it to concentrate on "making" you. Alas, more heartbreak was in store. I, however was confident that God provides, and that the God of Abraham, who made his descendants as numerous as the stars in the skies and as much as the sands of the earth, though in his advanced age, could have a child bore by an old woman said to be barren - then what more that we your parents, called to be also sons and daughter of the living God, may also have children of our own in time to come.

2011 - What a year

Five significant things that happened to us in 2011, all faith related.

February: We left our family and our precious "son" Leone and moved to Oslo, a country with climate and language strange to us Malaysians. To work in a company and position that God has given me so much favor with, found Oslo International Church and friends that feels like family here.

April: Lost our passport on the train but faith helped us to recover it.

May: Getting a replacement passport during our two-week trip home in Malaysia wasn't as easy as it seems. But God sealed the deal!

June: Found out that Janet was pregnant! Our prayers was answered, with the promise to expect something in 18 months that came to me early 2010 has now been put in motion. It has been a long journey of praying, believing, claiming and faith of the unseen and unknown.

October: As a new life is on its way, another life was being threatened by cancer - my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer with metastasis to the liver. A trip back to Malaysia with God's perfect timing, a sister's wedding brought forward, and a smooth surgery undergone by my dad. Our God is able, and God you are so so good, there is none like you!

Passport in Malaysia - May 2011

It was in May 2011, we returned to Malaysia to replace our passport. We thought it was the usual process of filling up a form, wait a few hours and then voila - passport. We woke up a bit late on Friday because of the jet lag, went to the Kajang immigration office around 10+am and handed in our application. Surprise, we were told to submit a translated copy of the police report we made in the Netherlands in BM as we are dealing with official matters, and it will take a month to investigate our lost passport case and then decide if we will be allowed to be issued new passports. Panic! To top it all, we were told we need the translation to be certified by proper authorities like a Court Translator or the National Translation Agency. Wow! 2 setbacks, but that's when we kept on praying furiously. Words can't describe our anxiety.

Quickly I thought of the courts in Putrajaya so we rushed there arriving around 12pm. There was a helpful guy at the court translator office but unfortunately they don't translate documents from Dutch. Searched the web, found 2 agencies which can do it, but they wanted RM1200, and it takes a few business day. Called the Dutch embassy in Malaysia, was told by a lady they don't do translation,and she sounds like she has entertained this kind of request many times before.