Update on my dad

Yeah! This Friday we are leaving for London - the first time when we planned this last year in September 2011, we got news that dad was diagnosed with 4th stage cancer in the colon, which spread to his liver. So we cancelled our London trip and went back Malaysia instead. Fast forward today 11 months after, my sister messaged me that dad has jaundice, his legs swelled and stomach bloated and had to be medicated. So, not that yeah anymore. This came shortly after a few days ago when I was reflecting on Sunday's message by Maicon about what if we had to give up something so precious for our faith? Instead of Abraham asked to sacrifice his son, I feel like I have to let go of my dad. Of course this is a very bad example but I do wonder if there is a lesson to be learnt here? I came home after work, shared a bit about my situation to my wife, Kara, and Audrey and Erik who was visiting us and went to my room to rest and reflect - but more of my coping mechanism kicked in, where I just want to think of nothing and hope everything will be alright after my sleep. I got back up 5 mins after, telling myself not to mop or ignore the situation, instead be strong , speak against the cancer, renewed my faith and believe that a miracle is near. Screw the thoughts of death. Screw the image of my dad suffering! We hold on to the promise and power of healing through the blood of Jesus. There is no plan B. It's always hard to explain about my dad's situation. Medically, the report is not getting any more positive, and when I ask about dad about how he is feeling, his answer doesn't gives me much indication that it's getting better instead currently it's obvious that things are getting worse. Despite that I refuse to believe that he's losing the battle, and that things will get better from now on, or soon to be - am I in denial? Maybe many will think I am, that I'm just fooling myself. But my hope, his hope, and my family's hope is in the Lord. So is our faith. Did we or he made the right decision not to go for the treatment suggested by the oncologist? I suppose when we believe in God's healing, it's not so much of which treatment to go for, but that healing comes from the Lord regardless of the treatment method. Still think I'm talking like a brainwashed Christian? And where did the logical and rational thinking that I employ each day in my job went to? I suppose I cannot explain faith. Even if things don't turn out the way we expect it to, my faith will still be in the Lord. They say that life has its ups and down, and I suppose being a Christian doesn't smooth out the downs in our life. The consolation is that we can find comfort in the Lord, and we don't have to fight the battles alone. Why do bad things happen to good people or vice versa? I honestly don't know. How should I end this post? Kara had difficulty breathing because of flu lately, which made breast-feeding her a challenge. It breaks my heart to see her in such a difficult situation, but I also realized the hard work that care givers put in to take care of people with special attention. My salute and hats off goes to those who work in such situation. Also I'm reminded that taking care and being there for my family is more important than my work and career. Even if my career or income maybe impacted, but God never leaves us in a lurch - that I am sure.